This topic contains 13 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by 
-
Posts
-
AnonymousHi friends…
I’m new here and just looking for some support and companionship.
For about a decade I was in very close with a group of friends who were interested in friendship between men and women. Dan Brennan is the leader of this group, and was a very close friend of mine. We talked on the phone every day, visited frequently, etc. Long story short….it all came crashing down and Dan became manipulative toward me…and then spiritually abusive, and finally physically abusive.
Meanwhile, he still goes around acting like he is still the world’s expert on friendship. I’ve tried to reach out and talk, but he refuses to even speak to me – as if I’m the one who did something wrong.
Just tired and wishing people didn’t hurt each other so much.
Hi @Jennifer. I am not familiar with Dan Brennan (although I just googled him and found his webpage). I am sorry that you experienced this abuse.
TLS is a good place. And a safe place.
Welcome!
Sorry you experienced this @jennifer! Welcome to the lasting supper. Great folks here.
Anonymous@Jennifer Welcome to TLS, hope you find comfort, support and friendship here.
Hi Jennifer, This is a good group of folks. We like to laugh! But, I also want to hear more of your story. Peace.
Anonymous@Jennifer me too. Hope you expand a bit on the details of the Friendship Ministry as well. I have some friends who are following this movement. If and when you feel confortable doing that of course.
AnonymousThanks John.
Well, for about 10 years I was very close with Dan Brennan and it was very chaotic the whole time. Dan had a number of friendships with women during that time that were very deeply troubled and ended very badly. As for me, it all ended when Dan and I were in a heated argument alone at his house, and he charged toward me with his fist raised. The only reason he didn’t hit me is that I shielded myself and cried out. He never apologized, never even acknowledged that it happened. Sometime after that, he ended all contact with me and has refused to speak to me since. I’ve tried every way I can to have a conversation and sort through things, but he refuses.
The hardest part is that he gets to go around telling everyone that he is the expert on how to be friends with women…and never has to acknowledge the harm that he has done.
AnonymousWow @Jennifer sorry you had to encounter that. It must have been horrifying and terribly sad. Sounds like his model is all about trial and error… With error being the predominant outcome…
Wow, I’m really sorry you had to go through that. What he’s doing makes me very uncomfortable. His premise about friendship sounds kind of suspect. I hope you find peace here.
Ok…just Googled him. It says EVERYTHING to me that the uber-creepy, horrible Hugo Schwyzer endorses his book. Yuck.
AnonymousThanks Amy. In one sense, his book’s thesis is good, “men and women can be friends” Which I agree with in general, the problem is that he apparently has no idea how to actually live that out.
His program seems a little too self conscious for my taste. Most of my co-workers are women and we have shared a lot during the years, but I don’t single them out as friends that are women. It’s kind of like that guy that comes up to you in high school and his opening line is that he knows a lot of girls.
Since you recognized that he has this pattern of deeply troubled relationships I would be asking myself why I would even want to have any further contact.
May you feel welcome here at The Lasting Supper.
AnonymousWell we are talking about the church here. If friendships among men and women are to be had, they have to be intentional for the most part. I can understand the approach if it is based on an effort to be authentic with a goal of trying to increase the amount of opposite sex friends in that environment. Like all friendships and situations where you are dealing with people, it can be messy and hard to do this. However, this does not excuse one loose canon who happens to be the talking head for the movement for deliberately or negligently making it harder on folks than it should be because of his own issues.
The best and most meaningful friendships are the ones that come naturally, rather than some kind specific program or the “friendships” that develop within church because you are encouraged to mingle with fellow Christians. The problem is, within Christian circles, the developed social schism between the sexes is ever more cemented, and it is very much about having friends that are men, or friends that are women (completely excluding trans* people) rather than just… you know, friends?
I find it appalling that you had to go through such an experience @Jennifer, and even more disgusting that this guy can continue within such a practice that he is clearly not fit for. Welcome to the forums anyway! This is the place to rant, unwind and hopefully heal from such problems
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.