This topic contains 21 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by 
Danielle 4 months, 3 weeks ago.
-
Posts
-
AnonymousI just finished Brian McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christian (which I have mixed feelings about so I’m not necessarily recommending it). But I just have to share this one portion that struck such a chord because it describes so perfectly the stages all of us ex-church people seem to be going through.
According to Alan Roxburgh, letting go of life as we have known it and embracing a new life on new terms (the process of paradigm change) typically follows 5 phases:
1) STABILITY, when life is fine, current theories explain everything adequately, and questions are few – perhaps like Dorothy of The Wizard of Oz living happily in Kansas.
2) DISCONTINUITY, when the old system seems to be working less well – reflected socially in Dorothy’s conflict with her witchy neighbor, psychologically in her ambivalent desire to run away from home, and physically in the approaching thunderstorm.
3) DISEMBEDDING, when we begin feeling that the current system is insupportable and we begin to disconnect from it – like Dorothy being carried away from Kansas by the tornado.
4) TRANSITION, when we haven’t fully left the old world and we haven’t fully entered the new world – like Dorothy newly arrived in Oz, trying to get her bearings.
5) REFORMATION, when we decide to make a go of it in the new world we have entered – like Dorothy setting out on her journey to see the wizard, invigorated with new hope and passion.
-
This topic was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
David Hayward.
AnonymousJo – that is really an interesting analogy and list. I would love to know what you thought about McLaren’s book and why. I read it a couple of years ago and never got to discuss it with anyone and I’m just curious. I’d probably have to pull it out and refresh my memory of it a bit. And I don’t mean to derail this thread, so only if you feel like discussing it.
AnonymousI’ve been wanting to discuss McLaren’s book so I’m glad you asked! I will probably get on my soap box (even though I know I’m preaching to the choir) – so please bear with me.
I should say up front that this is a very good book IF you are seeking stategies to help the church to change and reinvent itself. I didn’t realize it was going to be a book about “a different kind of church.” I was reading it to find out what “a different kind of Christian” looked like (since that IS the title of the book.)
So that is the main reason I was disappointed in the book. I am WAY past caring about what does or doesn’t happen with the institutional church. Just shoot it and put it out of it’s misery. I’m not jaded or anything right????
I really liked the first few chapters where he explained how the church is still in the modern era but our society has already moved into the postmodern era – which is why so many people are leaving the institutional church. AGREED!
After reading those first few chapters I was hopeful this was going to be a great read. For me, it wasn’t though. Mainly because he believes it is actually possible for the church to change (although he makes no bones about how difficult that will be), while I do not.
He spent the remaining chapters laying out how to go about making those changes and appealing for people not to abandon the church, but to stay and help bring that change about. For those who believe in that pipe dream and are willing to stay, I say more power to them – but I am DONE with the institutional church. So basically, while reading the rest of the book, I just kept thinking I don’t believe the church has a snowball’s chance in hell of ever really changing, and even if it does, I am beyond the point of caring!
McLaren admits the whole thing will be VERY difficult IF it even happens at all. But when he said it would probably take two decades for such a huge paradigm shift to have even the minutest chance of success, my mind totally snapped shut!
If I can’t even stomach the idea of going to church NOW, I am sure NOT interested in “hanging in there” with the church and trying to be part of a two decade process that may or may not result in true change! (I did finish the book, only because once I start a book I feel I should finish it. Besides, I can’t fairly critique a book I didn’t even finish!)
While I have the utmost respect and appreciation for what Brian McLaren is trying to do, I’m simply NOT interested in being a part of it.
I honestly feel the sooner the institutional church bites the dust the better off Christians and Non-Christians will be, because then people will be forced to form small communities that meet in people’s homes, which is exactly how the early church started out.
Now I realize that just because people meet in homes doesn’t magically transform a group of Christians into a loving, supportive, healthy community of believers – especially if they are just going to re-produce the institutional church on a much smaller scale – but I think meeting in the intimacy of people’s homes provides the best environment for attempting to birth true Christian communities.
TRUE COMMUNITY IS WHAT WE ALL NEED AND WANT! We don’t need a building (which eats up money that ought to be given to those in need!), and we don’t need more programs/agendas/sermons/teachings/Bible studies, etc. (Excuse me while I GAG!)
In all fairness those things are NOT what McLaren wants for the church either. I just don’t believe his vision for a truly changed, healthy institutional church is realistic.
Thanks for letting me rant and rave. Now it’s your turn to tell me what you thought of the book, if you can remember.
Great summary Jo! I agree 150% on everything you said – ok – I didn’t read the book but I loved your review!
AnonymousApparently I skipped phase one altogther and have been perpetually stuck in phase four. Crap. Need to boot myself into the next phase somehow.
AnonymousDon’t worry Rosey, with the help and support of each other on these forums, I think we will ALL make it to phase five sooner or later. Preferably sooner right?!?!
AnonymousCool book report, Jo. I haven’t heard of that book before. I totally get your reticence to just hang around in the institutionalized Church hoping for the change. I am sad for the people who are trying to keep people in the formal Church. I wonder at their intentions. I am hoping it is for good reasons and not just financial. The institutional church has had a huge financial windfall with the end of the century, as usual and they don’t want to lose that growth I am sure, but they sure shot themselves in the financial foot by bringing republican politics into the pulpits with Jesus. lol. Jesus is no Ayn Rand, fan, after all.
Jo, thanks for the review! I agree with your take on the church and you made me laugh, again! Keep up the posts! I for one, lately, feel like the wicked witch that the house landed on and somebody stole my shoes.
AnonymousCool book review. You just saved me 10 hours that I would never get back. Not sure I would read the book anyways, but it is cool to see your take on it.
I too am beyond even caring about the institutional church. I wish they would just admit to being a business. I think that is Step 0.
A
AnonymousIt’s very interesting. I have found myself stuck between 4 and 5 for nearly 2 years now. Finally escaped from a church and trying to get myself to go to another one – a constant battle between what I want and what I think I should do. Been going to church all my life and after being hurt and finally walking away from it and from people dictating my life, I find I miss the community. I have such a knee-jerk reaction to it all now, it’s hard to just let go and “make a go of it”
Justlove: I think that is a common feeling among most members of TLS: “I find I miss the community”. I do as well.
AnonymousJustLove – I think I can safely say that ALL of us ex-church goers on this website still miss the “sense of community” that church gave us. It’s not easy to cut all ties and just “go for it.” The only reason I have cut all ties with the institutional church is because I know what will be required of me in order to be part of a “church community,” and there is no way I am jumping through ANY of those hoops ever again!
It is NOT an easy transition to make if you’ve gone to church most of your life. (I attended church for 50+ years.) Many of us still feel unsettled and like something is missing, but that sure beats the alternative of not being true to who you are and forcing yourself to go through all the crazy-making , guilt-induced, mental gymnastics “churchianity” requires.
I know it’s not the same as being in community with flesh and blood people, but there are awesome people in this “on-line community” who at least understand what you are going through and who are very supportive, compassionate, and encouraging. Not to mention all the valuable insights they share from their own ex-church, spiritual journey. Hang in there JustLove, things will get better with time!
AnonymousThanks Jo. “Churchianity” is so true! It’s such a shame that the church is so flawed, basically because it’s run by humans…! I love the idea of church, I love meeting with people, worshipping, being spiritually fed etc but like you said, there are so many hoops that you are required to jump through to gain those privileges . I am trying to regain the control in my life after so long. I feel like I have been going through life in one of those big plastic orb things (the ones they put you in for you to tumble downhill or over water ha ha), they are really hard to steer and you’re out and about but encased in your little bubble and if someone pushes you from outside you are powerless and have to go with the flow. Now I am out on my own it feels so strange but I don’t want to get back in to the orb because it’s so suffocating! Do I make any sense?!
Jo, I read that book years ago when I was still very active in a church, and it, along with many others and a lot of other things, was one small piece in driving me ever more into being dissatisfied with the status quo. I agree with your book report – A+.
AnonymousJustLove – You make PERFECT sense!!! Loved your “bubble” analogy.
Randy – thanks for the A+ on my “book report” – ha!
I also read a bunch of books by Frank Viola on “house churches.” Did you read any of his books? His book “Pagan Christianity” was a real eye-opener!!
-
This topic was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.