Stuff and things.

[moxierocksParticipant]

I admit it. I’ve been mostly prowling around reading here and there, and only leaving a snarky little jokey comment ever once in awhile. The past few months have been…weird? I dunno. Anyway, I really miss hanging out here more, and I miss the people that I used to talk to more, but now it’s been a couple months minimum. I’m just…weird. I can’t really pinpoint it..I’m just..lacking in things to say about religion/lack thereof, unless someone is in my face and saying something unfair and unloving. I suppose it might be a good thing that it’s not a huge topic on my mind of late. I feel I am definitely moving into a much less muddled frame of mind..but I am finding it tough to relate to anyone in my flesh and bone, face to face life. Not my husband. My kids don’t count because it’s not my job to relate to/with them but to guide them and love them even when they act like complete morons. I’m making a few new friends here and there in my area, and I really like them, but the relationships are far too new to have any real depth.

I have discovered that I am very powerfully drawn to astrology. My intuition is (as it’s always been) very strong, and I’m studying astrology and learning how to sharpen my ability to sense what might help myself or others. I realize that I’m kind of further driving a wedge between myself and the “general public” since basically I’m studying to be a “fortune teller” even though that’s not even what it really is at all..but it’s what people think it is. I’m not talking about newspaper horoscopes..but  you can’t know the difference unless you learn.

I devote hours of my time and energy to learning ways to save money for my family as well as for us to be healthy as possible. I’m ultimately becoming a total hippie. I’m getting crunchier every day. I not only eliminated the need to buy commercial shampoo, laundry detergent, and skin care, but I also make my own natural deodorant (it works GREAT!) and I’m about to make homemade natural toothpaste as well!

There has been a major shift in my thinking, as far as what I want for the future. I was desperate to leave Oregon for so long. We visited Reno in February, and though I would still jump at the chance to move there, my hubby doesn’t have a job there. He considered just looking for any kind of work in sales down there, but with the amount of years he’s finally got behind him in the company he’s with, and the level of benefits he has, it would not make sense for him to give that up. And then there’s my family and his family. I’ve wanted nothing more than to get away. But now I have a whole new way of thinking. I feel like the universe is telling me that I need to stay put for the foreseeable future, to stop apologizing for who I am and stick up for myself and others that they like to put down, and to love them the way I want them to love me. It’s a tall order from the universe. I hate the months of rain and grey here..I get depressed. I get angry even. But there’s an immense beauty to this place I live. I know I’m actually quite fortunate to be here. I still want to at the very least get to go on even just one cross country road trip, and see other places. Maybe even a trip to Canada while I’m at it!

Anyway, this post is really just a personal “updater”…But I want to end it with this. I’m still around. I’m just..quite possibly in a chrysalis of sorts. Things are quiet on my end because they’re quiet in my head. I’m changing rapidly, I can feel it…

And as always,

I love you!

~moxie

[HeleneParticipant]

Again I say, moxie rocks!!!! If you ever get to Canada I dare you to go to the Banff Centre, their Mountain Film Festival is the one thing in the whole year I look forward to most of all (not the real deal unfortunately, the travelling film show that follows it)  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banff_Mountain_Film_Festival

They’ve got a jazzy thing on at the moment. Hey, I double-dare you ! http://www.banffcentre.ca/

[starfielderParticipant]

I like hearing about your stuff and things. thanks. <3

[SaraJParticipant]

Oh Mox!  Just love you.  Love hearing you here on TLS.  You know how I feel about you coming to Canada.

I like your crunchiness!!

xo

[Anonymous]

@moxierocks

Sounds like you’re working through some things, all the best as you sort thru it all.

And, if you ever come to Banff, I’m just a hop, skip & a jump away in Calgary…

[Anonymous]

Mox – Been wondering where you were. Thanks for the update on your life and how you’re doing- even if you’re in a weird place -ha!

[Anonymous]

Mox -I think I get what you’re saying.

At the beginning of my “spiritual journey out of the church,” I was questioning and grappling and ranting and discovering and tasting and celebrating.

Now it seems like I’m just on auto-pilot. No dramatic ups or downs – but not feeling much excitement about life either. Just sort of going along. Similar to what you said Moxie.  I’m not in a bad place, just a weird place that feels strange because I’ve never been here before.

I’m wondering if this “weird” feeling is simply because I no longer chase after the latest and greatest spiritual high like I did when I went to church and attended/led Bible studies, read the latest popular Christian authors, and glommed on to whatever latest and greatest Christian trend came down the pike? And now that I am no longer looking for the next spiritual high,  life feels kind of weird – maybe even a little boring. Does that make sense???

 

 

[AgnosticBelieverParticipant]

It actually sounds like you are becoming more aware of the world and more grounded. Not a bad thing.

When I moved back to Milwaukee from Madison, my whole goal was just to go away again. But my family is here, I have a job here and with the fragility of our economy, it dawned on me that leaving may not be the best thing. I need to enjoy my time here, the time I have with both parents still alive, time to situate myself professionally and build a life.

I will be starting a new job on Monday and honestly, I got the offer and quit my old job immediately. I was miserable and I realize that it is not worth it. I spent a few years of being miserable in grad school and I let it get to the point that I almost did not finish with ANY degree. I will no longer apologize for the choices I make to do what I want and love.

Congrats, Moxie!

[David HaywardKeymaster]

You can come to Canada. must visit.

[cowboyjunkeyParticipant]

Definitely come to Canada!  Its interesting that I was only a few hours away from you in the winter when I was out for a conference.  Alberta definitely needs to be stop for you.

Thanks for the update.  I like howAgnosticBeliever puts it.  I think I’m coming to that stage now.  Where I’m content with where I am and don’t feel the need to argue.

[moxierocksParticipant]

Thank you for all the support, guys! I really appreciate all of you..:)

@Helene , I checked out the website..I’d LOVE to attend that someday..*sigh*

@Jo White , you really do get what I’m saying! It’s truly an almost sitting still phase, but it’s not at all unpleasant or even unproductive. It’s like placid water after a rough river falls or something.

@SaraJ , @admin, and @Kathy D , I wouldn’t forget any of you if I ever make it up that way(s)..;)

@AgnosticBeliever , I am keenly aware of the world and kind of soaking it in and sorting it out while loving the feeling of my feet on the earth.

@cowboyjunkey , I’ll visit you too! I’m happy you’re at a contented place, too..:D

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