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David Hayward 3 weeks, 6 days ago.
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This past Sunday morning I went to a church for the first time in 2 years. It was an urban church in the downtown area that tries to appeal to younger people who are more hip and post modern. To my wife and me it was still churchy although it was a bit more ‘cool’ than a lot of churches.
The reason I went was to hear up and coming apologist/philosopher Randal Rauser guest speak on the subject of Is God Really Good. I spoke to him afterwards and he was sympathetic to my story of losing faith. He gave an interesting talk but it did not convince me to invest Sunday mornings in going back to church.
Ps./ Randal Rauser and John Loftus have just co-authored a debate book called God or Godless?
Since leaving the church took a bit to disentangle our lives, I wake up Sunday mornings now and drink coffee in bed. I have my daughter who is 9 make me a cappuccino. I often wonder in regards to all those years in church, “What was all that?” And then the question passes and we have a lovely day doing whatever we want.
Today we cooked stuff, gardened a bit… enjoyed the day. Some days I go for a long run. Some days I laze around in bed til I feel like moving. I don’t miss the busy-ness of church life. I don’t miss the “shoulds.” I don’t miss the lectures, oh wait, the sermons.
I love looking out of my window at what the day holds and it ends up being exactly what it is.
I’ve gone back and “visited” twice by turning up as the service is finishing. Means I get to keep up with a few people without all the rest of the service baggage. I think some people are getting cluey, though, but they aren’t being perjorative about it.
Wade.
I haven’t left THE church but I’ve left many churches. Just no Spirit in ‘em. Canned presentations during worship, Pastors who seem asleep on their feet, ignorance, I can list reasons all nite. I’m still looking. I have been to my daughter’s multi-racial (I’m wunna the only whitefaces) and the place ROX!! but it’s 70 miles away. I live in the Sierra foothills in Northern California at 3,000 feet. Beautiful and quiet here. The Church is in Sacramento where I grew up and I hate the effin’ place. Looks like Ohio…I hate flatlands!! Anyway, not much church where I live now. (How’s THAT for a digression?) Anyway, Sunday morning if I’m not investigating, I’m on the pc. I haven’t given up hope that I might find somewhere like that church in Sac but til then, I’ll let my nerdiness reign.
For the past year, Sunday has become just a day to sleep in for me and allow myself to be lazy…and that, of course, has been enjoyable all by itself. Recently however, I’ve realized how it is still important to take some time (be it on sunday or some other day) to devote to spiritual growth. What does that mean exactly? Well, I think it means quite simply indulging in anything you feel brings you to a greater state of awareness. For example, today I meditated for a short bit and now I’m reading some books on spirituality. I’m using this time to learn about the things that I never got to learn about in church…I’m on my own spiritual plan now. It’s great.
I used to just be grumpy, because I knew about the love-fest going on down the street and I’d been shunned. That can go on for a long-damn-time, but you can’t stay there indefinitely. It’s poison. So Sundays have become a family day for us. I have 4 children and we live in a rural area; so we tend to take them to places of more diverse peoples. We’ve been to ball games, museums, beaches, college towns, art festivals, kayaking, etc. And we have also learned to enjoy sleeping in, having a big breakfast together and just doing stuff together around the house or in town (bike rides, going for ice cream after a couple hours at the park). And then there are books – we read a lot. Some Sundays we’ll spend most of the day reading and just hanging out. For a while, I hated Sundays – now I LOVE Sundays.
Farmer’s market
You still get to interact with people, and you feel good about supporting local producers.Go to the markets, the beach, the coffee shop, take a walk, do yoga, kayak, enjoy a drive out to a nearby winery, taste something new, listen to something inspiring, paint, draw, garden, enjoy the sun, enjoy a warm fire, go fishing, journal, cook up a storm, meet up with friends for brunch… My goodness, I can think of a lot of things I would rather do than sit somewhere I’m not even noticed and listen to a lot of shit that makes me think I’m in a strange parallel universe populated by plastic people with lots of baggage.
I felt guilty for several years, then decided that takes too much energy. Now I don’t want to give my Sunday mornings back, which is kind of interesting, because the church never “owned” them. I just thought they did.
But if I had a church where I felt at home, I can see myself back there. But for now I am churchless, which is like being homeless. But at least I am not guilty and homeless. lol
My sunday mornings have become the most precious time of the week for me.
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