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Gary 1 year, 7 months ago.
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I came across this link in my Twitter feed just now. It’s about homeschooled kids coming of age … and rebelling.
Many of the homeschooled are from fundamentalist Christian homes, too. I know the article describes North America, but it is eerily similar to what my brother and sister-in-law are doing. My nieces are getting to the point where they should be starting high school. I don’t like the prospect of what’s going to happen to them come puberty. :-/
Wade.
Boy this is timely. My oldest sister and her husband home schooled their two kids who are now adults. They are very fundamentalist in their beliefs. Their older child (son) is now 35 and has suffered with alcoholism and rebellion most of his life. He has a debilitating form of Crones disease and seemed totally unprepared to face the challenges of his disease. Their younger child (daughter) is 31 and is on house arrest following 2 years in jail (her 2nd time) and appears to have learned nothing and likely will end up right back in once she fully gains her freedom.
The irony to me is that they chose to home school their kids to, at least in part, “protect” them from the evils of the world. They both (particularly their daughter) have lived a life of extreme rebellion and extremely destructive behavior choices. And through all this my sister and her husband live largely in denial that sheltering them from the world had anything to do it. I am not saying the kids are not responsible for their own choices because I truly believe they are. But the fundamental mindset they were raised under certainly did not provide any kind of moral compass for them that is for sure.
*sigh* I hate that these types of homeschooling families give us all a bad name. We homeschool our younger one. We gave our older child the choice when he was 7, and he picked public school. We gave our younger child the choice this year, and she picked homeschool. We give each of them the choice every year and plan to continue to do so. We don’t do it for religious reasons but for educational ones. We originally homeschooled our son because he has ADHD of the hyperactive/impulsive (rather than inattentive) type. We didn’t want to medicate him (and still don’t). School is occasionally rough, but he’s such an extreme extrovert that it’s great for him most of the time (and see my post on his jazz band concert for one reason why).
Our daughter is another story. She is introverted, but she is socially very good. She is in Girl Scouts and dance class and has close friends who are also homeschooled (but not for religious reasons). She is borderline for autism (which runs strongly in my family) and has a boatload of sensory issues–food, clothes, sounds. She is a highly motivated learner, but she has certain struggles and becomes easily overwhelmed. Perhaps when she is older, she will choose school. I don’t honestly know.
Anyway, I know this was about Christian homeschoolers, and that article certainly explains why we are not in a local co-op or group. They are full of overly religious types who have certain expectations about what I should be teaching my kid.
You’re right Amy…it is not fair for you to be in any way labeled by the religious fanatics. My family’s experience with homeschooling is in no way a reflection on your choice to homeschool in any way and if my comments sounded like I was judging ALL homeschoolers I apologize profusely. That was in no way my intent. I don’t even believe all who choose religious reasons for homeschooling are necessarily doing a bad thing. I just have first hand experience with the futility of attempting to shield kids from the world and that is really what I was addressing, not the process of homeschooling at all.
I’ve definitely seen this too.
We home schooled for 16 years. We did it primarily for religious reasons, and were very sheltering in every way, including the influence of media. My oldest is now 24, and loves in his spare hours (and I do mean hours) doing online gaming and watching a myriad of stuff on Netflix.
But I am grateful that we started to wake up and loosen up before they really reached adulthood. I don’t see his acts as rebellion, and while it drives my husband crazy to see his son spend his time that way, I have no trouble letting him be who he chooses. He is very open with us and none of my older three (who went all the way through school at home) seem to have any ill will about it all.
My kids are in a little private school now, but if circumstances ever change I would probably go back to home schooling, but for educational reasons this time.
I was homeschooled from 1st grade on, with only a minor break to attend the church-school when my mother was pregnant with my youngest sister..that was the school where I was spanked by the pastor and assistant pastor for lying when I in fact had been telling the truth. Even after I left home,I never smoked or did drugs, and I didn’t have sex outside of marriage. All of the above was a because of a combination of a true horrific fear of Hell, and I have always rebelled against the status quo! I had friends who smoked, drank, and slept around and I wouldn’t do those thinks simply because everyone else was doing them! Ha!
Even as I was very sheltered, and homeschooling was a big part of that..I learned what I wanted to about “the real world” without my parents knowledge. (Basically, I wanted to know about sex and not what my mom was telling me which was mostly nothing and some lies..so I found out how to read dictionaries and encyclopedias to follow the trails to learn about the subject..which lead to me learning about other subjects..and so on) All kids are different. I didn’t become a super rebellious (in the outward sense) teen, but my mother treated me like I was..she was so angry at me all the time. I was always in trouble.
With my kids, they have mostly gone to public school..we tried homeschooling twice. I don’t know that I could successfully homeschool my older two, but I want to homeschool my youngest for the sake of her health. But my kids are not so sheltered, and anything they know, I’ve told them or purposefully exposed them to as far as I know.
So, we sent our kids to a school that was kinda like homeschool. We did it because public school was a disaster for 2 of them. One of my happiest days was the day we decided they were ready for public school again. I had a very strong distaste for the school’s conservative agenda. I mean seriously they used the Bible as a science textbook. Ugh. We did our own science! I’m sure the school thinks we are going to hell for it. We also told our kids that we don’t agree with their beliefs but we think that the education was working for them. Our kids are doing well in public school now. When our daughter has struggled this year with our departure from church, a devastating foot injury, and a devastating health diagnosis something I have clung to is this: my psychologist friend said that guiding her through this heavy stuff now is way better than her having a peachy-king-awesome-no-troubles-life. Most people raised like that wake up in their 30s depressed, nervous breakdown, etc so on and so forth.
I am not against homeschooling but I am against the religious conservative reasons to homeschool or send kids to conservative schools. My lovely sister who happens to be gay helped turn the light on to all that. I love her and they did NOT.
Oh, @Gary I’m so sorry I missed this…I didn’t mean to come across so defensively, and what I said was aimed at the article, not at you. I’m just frustrated because on another discussion board, there was all this stuff about “I can tell a homeschooled kid a mile away–they’re so sheltered and weird and socially awkward.” My daughter, because of her issues, probably DOES come across as weird some of the time. But my sister, who IS autistic, went through public school and wasn’t better for it, socially speaking. And it just makes me so FURIOUS that abusive/fundie/sheltering parents do what’s described in the article so that the rest of us get smacked with the label of “kooky homeschooling family” even when we do things differently. I don’t blame people who came from bad HS experiences or those who only know the fundie types of HSers–it’s not their fault that these people are the face of HSing. Of course, there’s also the issue that those of us who do HS must automatically support the “rights” of every family who HS’s. Well, I don’t support them. We work damn hard to stay within the state regs and comply with our local district, including borrowing their materials. We have a great relationship with our local public school–they’re wonderful! Someday, our daughter may choose public school, or she may not. We have a plan either way. I just hope the crackpot HSers don’t ruin it for us.
No worries Amy. I did not think it likely that you were offended at my comments…but wanted to be sure just in case.
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