This topic contains 41 replies, has 21 voices, and was last updated by 
Ren 1 year, 9 months ago.
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Posts
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Hi gang. The three worst things:
1. Lack of spiritual identity. I’m a friggin gypsy. I don’t seem to connect with anyone on a spiritual level because I’m too afraid of coercion… being coerced and coercing.
2. Loss of comfort that comes from a measure of theological assurance.
3. No community. Except for this one. So let’s call it limited community.
By the way… Hi! First post.
1. Having to explain where I am theologically and philosophically to those who don’t understand why I left.
2. The loss of my community. I’ve rebuilt it slowly, but it’s taken me a good 5+ years. And I still don’t really have one IRL (at least that aren’t scattered friends in my different social group).
3. Feeling like I’m too much for god and for people to handle. I don’t feel like I belong anymore.
i can’t figure out what IRL is.
and i hope you can get a sense of belonging here
AnonymousIRL = in real life.
Deanna, I hear you about community. My friends are all scattered, rather than one grouping. It makes it hard for me to connect, because I’m an introvert and have to go to great lengths to keep relationships–otherwise, people think I just don’t care.
Hey Deanna, Thanks for your honesty about belonging. It’s so weird right? I spent so many years with instant church friends… now it’s the authentic ones that I hang with mostly… and I’m finding the few of them are worth so much more than an entire church of instant friends.
First post!
I finally made it to the forums; been around about a week now.After 50 years without missing a Sunday (or Wednesday, or special service), 6 months ago we stepped away from church for a host of reasons – that’s another story. So here are three things…
– Looking for ways/places to serve God. I’ve done everything from being a carpenter/painter/janitor/cook/sound engineer to playing guitar in the praise band. Now……. um, I keep looking for volunteer things around town but it’s much harder to find, and every time it’s like starting over, introductions, etc.
– talking to Christians, family who are still active – I get the feeling we are looked at as outsiders when they ask where we go to church ans we say, nowhere, without time to really explain in the grocery aisle. And my family is not happy. They are all pastors, deacons, etc. and there is no explaining to them.
– anger. At former pastors/church people. At God (Hey, why weren’t You a little more clear when You wrote that Book!
). Feeling like we were raised in almost a “cult” at times.So glad to have found this group!
AnonymousWow, I resonate wi†˙ so many of things you guys are saying.
1.Anger
2.Loneliness
3.Dis†rus† fo® anyone in the church.
Randy, so much of what you are talking about is so familiar.
It’s a sad sad truth. But I’d like to think it is like a better ending for us than if we had stayed there. I hope.
Ash
well don’t i love this discussion!
What I Miss:
Having Direction in life…When I was in the community there was NOT a lot of discussion about our lifestyle. We just agreed (for the most part) that the practice we were doing was a good thing. It was like we were ALL flowing in the same direction like a river. We were the river. I had a shaved head, I wore gray, I cooked and cleaned, I did the practice in the temple with everyone…It all just flowed together nicely. And when people came to visit I did not feel like they were judging me for my lifestyle and vis virsa. It was the first place I really felt like my true self. Meditation, chanting, bowing, it was not wierd or strange. Now my life is like I am moving in the wrong direction of the stream! Mainstream society feels very backward for me. I don’t care about what most people care about…Fashion, Money, Climbing the corporate ladder, having kids, having a boyfriend,having a nice car ect. ect…I Dont Care. Now it’s like I have to constantly tell myself to sit beside the stream, sit quietly, sit still, let that crazy life pass me by. I have to constantly tell myself I am not crazy for NOT following mainstream society. I am a spirt in a human body! There are no commercials or tv shows or magazine adds that promote talking to your inner spirt or what I call your inner guru. I miss having rituals in my life. I miss having a more simple life, I miss the ritual of shaving my head, wearing gray. I miss the daily schedule. It was like the sun and the moon, it was always there, every day and every night. Now my life is with out the sun and the moon. I am just floundering around, sometimes in the river of mainstream society, sometimes sitting quiettly on the edge of society.
Three of the hardest things were:
1. letting go of the learned theology- this stuff was and STILL is sticky, poisonous, and fear-mongering. I hate it. It poisons my spiritual ilife and threatens to kill it, still .
2. Developing my own spirituality- I didn’t trust the old theology, but I didn’t trust myself enough to follow my heart either. Thankfully, this part is winding into a resolution, but for a long time I spiraled on this and it caused me a lot of anguish…
3. Learning to find my own community- I wasn’t lonely… even in church I was alone. My problem was that I kept wanting to find a church for validation. I kept thinking that I had to be in an organised congregation of people, and if I wasn’t in one, I was theologically wrong. I wanted to be closer to God, regardless of where that took me… but it’s only been very recently–perhaps in the past year– that I have stopped trying to search for a new church body and been happy with the people and opportunities that God puts in my path daily that I have discounted, simply because they are not occurring in connection with a labelled building.
Renate, Wow it sounds like you’re finding your way. Awesome!
It’s very awesome… ^_^ It brings the entire world into a more cohesive, whole experience…
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