by David Hayward | Oct 12, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm scared
*** This is a letter from many years ago that I thought would be helpful to repost today. WHAT IS COMPASSIONATE SPEECH? Good day my friends. Today I want to talk about compassionate speech. It was inspired by one of our members posting this quote of Domo Geshe...
by David Hayward | Oct 4, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm okay
Ugh! Complicated Friendships I was recently invited by a couple of old friends to join them for a cigar and single-malt on one of their decks for an evening. Three guys… old friends from back in the evangelical, charismatic church days. They still go to such a church....
by David Hayward | Sep 27, 2020 | David's Letters, Exercises, I'm sad, I'm scared
Here is a good exercise to use to help you progress out of the pain of suffering. Is this your experience? Try these steps while you meditate on this drawing: What suffering have you experienced that you remember clearly? List them all. Which of these sufferings have...
by David Hayward | Aug 23, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm confused
THE GUILT OF JUST BEING Do you ever suddenly catch yourself feeling guilty for not doing anything? We hear about the importance of being before doing. But so many of us grew up in religious cultures that demanded constant holy activity, including attending church...
by David Hayward | Aug 3, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm confused
I NEED YOUR OPINION: Hi TLSers! So, every once in a while I ask for your opinion on something. This time it’s about a frequent request I keep getting: Should I start a podcast? Funny thing: I get interviewed for podcasts 2 or 3 times a week. BUT I don’t listen to...
by David Hayward | Jul 27, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm okay
Are You Unfolding? One of the most difficult things for me to realize during my deconstruction was that I didn’t have to be or do anything. In the religious cultures I grew up in, there was the constant challenge to do those 2 things: 1. Be something. 2. Do something....
by David Hayward | Jul 21, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm confused
The Pressure to Explain Yourself Hi TLSers! I get a lot of private messages from people across all social media platforms. Consistently, they are struggling with deconstruction. But not just deconstruction in general. I’m finding the main struggle is how to...
by David Hayward | Jul 5, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm okay
What a week! NakedPastor continues to become more and more famous… or infamous. My Instagram account is close to 45,000 followers. On the one hand this is wonderful because I’m helping more and more people get in touch with their courage to conform no longer to the...
by David Hayward | Jun 22, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm scared
MicroAggressions Deserve MacroCorrections Today I thought I’d write a short letter to you all. It’s about microagressions. Microaggressions are insults against a certain group of people that come off as a joke or even a compliment. Often they’re not even thought...
by David Hayward | Jun 9, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm okay
I came across this photo of myself when I was 10 years old. A wave of emotions swept through me. Immediately, I started speaking to him very lovingly. I told him everything he was going to experience. Nothing was excluded. I shared with him the pains, the abuses, the...
by David Hayward | May 31, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm okay
Years ago I read a short story by Chaim Potok. I can’t even remember the name of it. It was a story about a teenage boy who was the child of very religious parents. Potok describes the daily in and out of the family’s life, and the constant microscopic examination of...
by David Hayward | Apr 19, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm okay
Appreciating the What Is During the What Isn’t I don’t know about you, but I’m finding this solitary existence rather difficult lately. I’m missing cuddling with my wife even though we live remotely in the same house (her being a nurse). Touch. And hugging my kids....
by David Hayward | Mar 6, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm sad
Reverting Back Hi my friends. I had to make an emergency trip back to my parents’. Dad’s taken another bad turn and they need my help. He’s got some dementia and Parkinson’s as well as other issues. He’s now on a list for a Nursing Home. We’re dealing with all kinds...
by David Hayward | Feb 16, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm confused
I’m in my sixties and I’m still growing. I don’t ever want to stop. My latest challenge? One of the things that has lied dormant since I left the ministry and the church 10 years ago is making music. I wrote and sang my own songs, and led worship. My beautiful Taylor...
by David Hayward | Jan 31, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm scared
THE FEAR OF FREEDOM Just the other day I was driving and realized how free I was. I also felt a tinge of nervousness: what if I’m lost and don’t know it? Isn’t the nature of deceit that you’re so deceived you don’t even realize it? There’s nobody taking care of me to...
by David Hayward | Jan 9, 2020 | David's Letters, I'm okay
Hello my TLS family! I read this earlier today from the book I mentioned in our Facebook group (if you’re not in the group let me know and we’ll get you in there!), “The Courage to be Disliked”: “… in Adlerian psychology, self-reliance as an individual and cooperation...
