by David Hayward | Mar 29, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm confused
Lisa and I went on a much-needed vacation last week. We haven’t been on vacation since Lisa went back to university seven years ago. We left in a snow storm. I had to use the snowblower to get ourselves out of our driveway to get to the airport. We went to Mexico....
by David Hayward | Mar 15, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm okay
One of the strongest messages I received growing up in the church is that it is my job to not upset people. I mean, it’s okay to upset sinful people who are doing wrong, like Jesus overturning the tables of the money-changers in the temple. Hurting sinful peoples’...
by David Hayward | Mar 8, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm okay
After I left the ministry and the church, it became very clear to me very quickly the areas of my life that needed immediate attention and improvement. I call them the 4 F’s: Family. Fun. Finances. Friends. Of course, first and foremost, I had to take care of myself....
by David Hayward | Mar 5, 2015 | Podcasts
It’s always a delight for me to talk one on one with our members. Talking with Jeni Lowery was no exception! I’ve always been intrigued by Jeni’s spiritual makeup. I once told her that she’s a Christian trapped inside a Hindu’s body. Or...
by David Hayward | Mar 1, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm sad
Sometimes things seem so surreal. The last church I pastored, a Vineyard church (the one pictured here), just closed its doors and sold all assets, including the building, all the people have dispersed, and the pastor I’d left in charge moved away. Gone. All of it....
by David Hayward | Feb 26, 2015 | Blog
I abandoned everyone. I therefore felt abandoned. Because I was. I became solitary. Like a hermit. Solitude is lonely. It’s supposed to be. But sometimes the loneliness is felt so severely like a cold fog seeping into the marrow of your bones. But solitude and...
by David Hayward | Feb 24, 2015 | Blog
Sometimes I process things by talking about it. Or writing. Articulating it helps me know what it is. Words smith what I’m thinking into shape. One of my most common coping mechanisms is to go distant. Ever since I was a child I remember being told that. “You’re...
by David Hayward | Feb 20, 2015 | Blog
The lion cowers not. I came in like a lamb. I will go out like a lion. For so many years I complied. For so long I restrained myself under the constraints of the expectations and demands of others. In order to keep their peace I kept my tongue. This, I was told, this,...
by David Hayward | Feb 18, 2015 | Blog
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees when they were banging on about who would be married to whom after the resurrection, the Pharisees got together (both groups liked nothing better than to test Jesus, except for their dogma that is), one of the Pharisees,...
by David Hayward | Feb 16, 2015 | Blog
Few people want to follow where I go. I remember reading about a Canadian explorer, David Thompson. The further he travelled into the wilderness the less men would accompany him. He would begin with an entire team with lots of food and gear, but end up with just...
by David Hayward | Feb 15, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm scared
HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SECRET IDENTITY I’ve noticed lately in our private Facebook group that many of us are dealing with the fear of coming out to our families, friends, and acquaintances. When we change our beliefs, our faith, our religion, or lose them altogether, many...
by David Hayward | Feb 12, 2015 | Blog
This was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. Burning that bridge. Cutting it down. Separating myself as if permanently. This didn’t necessarily mean forever. But I had to act as if it was. Like an axe! Look at all those people on the other side. All those...
by David Hayward | Feb 9, 2015 | Blog
It’s okay to hide. I did. Let me tell you why: Too many people wanted to find me and restore me to the me I was. To the me they think I am, and should be. I couldn’t let them do that. No! So I hid. I hid myself deep within myself, far away from their pitiful eyes. I...
by David Hayward | Feb 5, 2015 | David's Letters, I'm sad
Hi everyone! Can you hear me buried underneath all of this snow? Almost all of the time, The Lasting Supper goes along just great. Not just goes along, but thrives with awesome interactions. I’m almost always impressed with the quality of people and conversations in...
by David Hayward | Feb 4, 2015 | Blog
I am a pioneer. I separated myself from the mainstream. I left the forest with its community of trees. I must navigate my own spiritual path, blaze my own trail, and find my own spiritual home. It’s been a while since I escaped. I’ve been through many traumatic...
by David Hayward | Feb 2, 2015 | Blog
While I was in captivity I was secretly aware of a wildness within me. I wouldn’t dare share it. Of course it was mostly theory without practice. At this point. I dreamed of it. I hid it. I sheltered it. I nursed it. Others couldn’t see it. If they did I would have...
