I abandoned everyone. I therefore felt abandoned. Because I was. I became solitary. Like a hermit. Solitude is lonely. It’s supposed to be. But sometimes the loneliness is felt so severely like a cold fog seeping into the marrow of your bones. But solitude and...
Sophia: Distant
Sometimes I process things by talking about it. Or writing. Articulating it helps me know what it is. Words smith what I’m thinking into shape. One of my most common coping mechanisms is to go distant. Ever since I was a child I remember being told that. “You’re...
Sophia: Defiance
The lion cowers not. I came in like a lamb. I will go out like a lion. For so many years I complied. For so long I restrained myself under the constraints of the expectations and demands of others. In order to keep their peace I kept my tongue. This, I was told, this,...
Old Versus New Commandments
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees when they were banging on about who would be married to whom after the resurrection, the Pharisees got together (both groups liked nothing better than to test Jesus, except for their dogma that is), one of the Pharisees,...
Sophia: Tracks
Few people want to follow where I go. I remember reading about a Canadian explorer, David Thompson. The further he travelled into the wilderness the less men would accompany him. He would begin with an entire team with lots of food and gear, but end up with just...
Sophia: Bridge
This was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done. Burning that bridge. Cutting it down. Separating myself as if permanently. This didn’t necessarily mean forever. But I had to act as if it was. Like an axe! Look at all those people on the other side. All those...
Sophia: Hide
It’s okay to hide. I did. Let me tell you why: Too many people wanted to find me and restore me to the me I was. To the me they think I am, and should be. I couldn’t let them do that. No! So I hid. I hid myself deep within myself, far away from their pitiful eyes. I...
Sophia: Pioneer
I am a pioneer. I separated myself from the mainstream. I left the forest with its community of trees. I must navigate my own spiritual path, blaze my own trail, and find my own spiritual home. It’s been a while since I escaped. I’ve been through many traumatic...
Sophia: Wild
While I was in captivity I was secretly aware of a wildness within me. I wouldn’t dare share it. Of course it was mostly theory without practice. At this point. I dreamed of it. I hid it. I sheltered it. I nursed it. Others couldn’t see it. If they did I would have...
Sophia: Blacksheep
I strut through the field under the moon as if I own the place. Because I do! The world is mine. All things are mine. Black sheep. That’s me. I was always different. And I always knew it. But I had a remarkable skill of being able to blend in. I knew how to conform. I...
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