Helping in the Face of Naysayers and Haters
Hi guys. Boy, I tell ya, I get a real mishmash of messages from people. I went through a period last week where I was being attacked online again. It hurts me because I have a sign over my desk that says, “Just help people!” I only want to help people. But it seems...
You Don’t Need to Explain
Hi guys! I’m creating a course on “How to Leave the Church”. (If you have any ideas you want to throw my way, I welcome them!) Anyway, I’ve been doing some research on it, and I was shocked to discover that there aren’t that many resources online. Well, not really...
PUT YOUR OWN MASK ON FIRST!
PUT YOUR OWN MASK ON FIRST! Imagine sitting in an airplane with your kids and your oxygen mask drops down. Your first impulse is to get the masks onto your kids. But you remember the very clear instructions: “Put your own mask on first!” So you do. Let’s unwrap that...
Reverse-Engineer Your Happiness!
REVERSE-ENGINEER YOUR HAPPINESS The kind of religious culture I grew up in taught me that pursuing my own happiness was wrong. Not just wrong. Sinful! I had to pursue God’s happiness and then he would make me happy. Maybe. Once I left that toxic religion, I had to...
Growth Means Expansion
GROWTH MEANS EXPANSION I know I’ve spoken about this before, but I really do think this is important for us. I used to think of personal growth as linear. In this case, we progress along a line, a continuum, like a snail, slowly but surely. We leave our past behind us...
Deconstruction as Progress
DECONSTRUCTION AS PROGRESS There are misconceptions about deconstruction, which is the changing of our beliefs, the loss of our faith, and for many of us… leaving the church. Some of the misconceptions are these: We are correcting our mistaken spirituality. We are...
Are We Less Neurotic Now?
I pre-ordered a book because I was excited about it. I’m a fan of the Benedictine monk, Thomas Merton, and have read lots of what he wrote, but I’ve read all his journals. The book I just received is by Mary Gordon, On Thomas Merton. She’s a writer and she’s...
I Will Be Nice But You Don’t Have to Be
I WILL BE NICE BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE I realized a few weeks ago that I play a different role than many people online. Some claim I still have a “pastor’s heart”. What that means is I can’t help caring for people, thinking about them for the long haul, and giving...
Your Whole Life Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
When I left the church in 2010 I was numb for about a year. I thought I was doing awesome when in fact I was completely unaware of how unwell I really was. I was going through a massive transition and my favorite way of dealing with stress is to turn off...
