by David Hayward | Aug 5, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
STRAY OR STAY? This last weekend Lisa and I went on a mini-vacation. We visited some good old friends… friends I got ordained with many years ago. They are now all retired or retiring and living off their pensions. At one point I asked one of them, “So what did I walk...
by David Hayward | Jul 29, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm okay
A BOOK YOU GOTTA READ Today’s letter is very simple. I want to recommend a lovely book to you. It’s “Search Inside Yourself” by Chade-Meng Tan. The reason I like it is because it is written so simply, clearly, and with a good dose of humor. The humor is already...
by David Hayward | Jul 21, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm confused, I'm sad, I'm scared
TLSers have something in common. We are pioneers. Here are the three stages of being a pioneer: You realize you’re not happy where you are. You’re not settled. Everyone else around you seems to be mostly content. But not you! You are restless. Maybe you are even...
by David Hayward | Jul 16, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm sad
IS IT SAFE? Some people assume I’ve got my act together because I help others through their deconstruction process. Not! I just returned from visiting my family for over a week. I love them, and they love me. But it became obvious to me that I still haven’t got it...
by David Hayward | Jul 2, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm sad
For Pride Month I posted a lot of cartoons advocating for the LGBTQ+ community. So many people hated on me, sent me nasty messages, and unfriended or unfollowed me. All believers. I’m exhausted! And discouraged. Yesterday when I went for a run I was grateful that I...
by David Hayward | Jun 21, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm sad
MY FIGHT WITH ART GALLERIES AND THE CHURCH I had a weird experience with an art gallery last month, and I want to tell you about it. So… I used to show my art locally. But when the gallery owner I showed at retired, I removed my work because of the new owner. Since...
by David Hayward | Jun 13, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
I frequently get messages from people claiming that the bad things I address that happen in churches happens only in conservative, evangelical, and especially charismatic churches. Wrong! I’ve been around. If you read my bio on nakedpastor you’ll see that I’ve...
by David Hayward | Jun 3, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
FORGIVING YOUR FACTIONS I talk with people all the time who are going through deconstruction. One of the things I’m passionate about helping people process is the forgiving their former selves. We know the only way there will be peace on earth is if we learn to love...
by David Hayward | May 26, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm scared
“FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT AND TAKE THE RIDE” Recently, someone was sharing his deconstruction process with me. For him, it’s very terrifying. At one point he said, “But I’m determined not to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I won’t give up my...
by David Hayward | May 14, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
TINNITUS, BIRDS, and NOTICING TRUTH I have tinnitus. I don’t know what caused it. It sucks. I can’t hear things at high pitches. So I wear hearing aides that turn up the volume at that pitch so I can hear it. It makes a huge difference when I wear them, especially in...
by David Hayward | May 7, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm scared
“3 Ways to Know You’ve Been Attacked by a Wolf” (This was shared on my nakedpastor site today but I wanted to make sure TLSers saw it, so here you go.) 1. You feel picked on. Wolves send a flock into a panic so they can separate the most vulnerable. Many of us...
by David Hayward | Apr 28, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm confused
Do What Helps YOU! I’m hitting on this theme lately because I see so many people struggling with doing what they want or even need to do to be healthy and feel happy. Sure, I sometimes struggle with this. I’ll give you an example: The other day I felt like putting on...
by David Hayward | Apr 22, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
THE USELESSNESS OF ARGUING Something I discovered many years ago is arguing is useless. I’ve never changed my mind after an argument. I’ve never changed anyone’s mind after an argument. Discussions, yes. Arguments, no. I discovered this when I was a pastor. So I...
by David Hayward | Apr 15, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm sad
Hi guys. Boy, I tell ya, I get a real mishmash of messages from people. I went through a period last week where I was being attacked online again. It hurts me because I have a sign over my desk that says, “Just help people!” I only want to help people. But it seems...
by David Hayward | Apr 10, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm angry, I'm confused
Hi guys! I’m creating a course on “How to Leave the Church”. (If you have any ideas you want to throw my way, I welcome them!) Anyway, I’ve been doing some research on it, and I was shocked to discover that there aren’t that many resources online. Well, not really...
by David Hayward | Mar 18, 2019 | David's Letters, I'm okay
PUT YOUR OWN MASK ON FIRST! Imagine sitting in an airplane with your kids and your oxygen mask drops down. Your first impulse is to get the masks onto your kids. But you remember the very clear instructions: “Put your own mask on first!” So you do. Let’s unwrap that...
