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Thank you! What you said helps me.
We are looking forward to getting to know you too!! thank you for being vulnerable and willing to let us in, to discover your wonderfulness!
I have a dear friend, who called me one night, weeping uncontrollably. She said her and her boyfriend had had sex. She was so upset that she had upset God. I asked her if she asked Him about it.
WHAT? Asked Him about it?
Yeah, you can do that, you know. Its possible that your covenant just came when you were ready, not when the ‘world’ felt they needed to put a legal paper to it.
She said she’d call me right back. I waited.
When she called, she was ecstatic! “Yes!!! He’s not mad! He’s not angry! He’s happy for us!”
That’s the God I know. They did eventually get married, they have been for several years now and their baby girl is gorgeous at 2. He adopted her kids. Sometimes being able to discern (tell) between a harmful religious teaching and how God really feels, is asking God for clarity, or calling a friend who has a high level of freedom. I cherish my freedom. It’s SO utterly important to me, and I usually feel like my ‘freedom availability’ is helpful to others. Maybe this will help?This sounds like good advice. I’d like to learn the difference.
@ Matt- I love that song too.
I really enjoy Kim Walker-Smith- she’s vibrant & laughs while she sings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3Z80_GLDKU
She bubbles with joy. One of my favs is ‘Dance’ written by Suzi Yaraei -it’s on her Praise is Beautiful album- and she hands the mike over to Kim Walker who finishes the song- it’s a precious moment, but I can’t find that version on youtube. I enjoy the way Kim sings it better- little more passionate… she just belts it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iucnAgrvA4This is brilliant! Ilovethis!
I think @Jo White said it very well! I have been to several churches who do have dancing, flagging- and easels set up for painting during worship. The last church I was in- that I left- was like that. I do think the majority of the churches don’t allow that, though. I dance during worship. I have been to some churches that I thought for sure they would kick me out. lol
I’m reading The Good Man Jesus & the Scoundrel Christ. I like it.It’s not written by a Christian. In this story, Jesus has a twin named Christ. Christ seems to represent the religious mindset. An excerpt from the book- someone asking ‘Christ’about Jesus:
“Do you want to be like Him?”
“More than anything.He does things out of passion, & I do them out of calculation. I can see further than He can; I can see the consequences of things He doesn’t think twice about. But He acts with the whole of Himself at every moment, and I’m always holding something back out of caution, or prudence, or bc I want to watch& record rather than participate.”@ParadoxPromi feel free to ask me anything! I’m usually a very honest person (or so I like to think) and since this is a closed forum, I’m not hesitant to talk about any hard stuff. I just kept getting pregnant on birth control (yay me) so I have kids. My first husband told me he wanted a divorce when my son was almost 2 yrs old bc he just didn’t want to be a father. I knew that when I got pregnant- he was livid that I wouldn’t get an abortion. But we got married anyway. He tried for almost 2 yrs. But he told me that he resented me for having Julian and Julian for being alive. This has a happy ending: when we divorced- he sued me for custody. (I know, right?!) I wanted to kill him. He just wanted control over something, but through it all, he ended up spending time with Julian, something he hadn’t done before & realized he liked being a father. Julian is 13 now and his dad is an excellent dad. But the same thing happened when I remarried- kind of. I got prego AGAIN (oy vey) on birth control. He was so upset that I wouldn’t abort the pregnancy (we had talked about it- I told him I was fertile and wouldn’t do that.) Here I was, his wife, prego with his baby- but he kicked me out bc I wouldn’t ‘take care of the problem.’ He wanted to stay married, but didn’t want the baby. I lived with my dad and found an adoption agency. It was awful. The dark night of my soul. Also, I was a waitress, and people don’t know any better – so they ask: “Ohhhh, how far along are you? Is this your first? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” So I lied my ass off to my customers (who wants to hear that my hubby kicked me out & I’m giving the baby up for adoption?- it’ll ruin your lunch, for sure. I pretended to be happy and excited my daughter was going to be born. By the time I was eight months- I knew I couldn’t give her up for adoption. I told my hubby, “I can’t do it. I have to keep her. If you have to divorce me, do what you must.” Being a single mother of two sounded like a nightmare, especially since I thought I may never trust men again. But he (another happy ending!!) made a decision & said: “okay, she’s our daughter- part of our family and that’s that.” And he is a very good father also.
This is kind of what I mean when I talk about the beauty of forgiveness. My hubby & I have both done things to hurt each other terribly, but being able to love one another as though that person never hurt you, is very precious to me.
I was never one of those girls who dreams about being a mom when they grow up. Kids are very annoying as well as amazing. I’m very frank with my children- and I’m learning to nurture them- but I won’t ever claim that to be my strong point.
I hope I didn’t scare you off for asking questions, @ParadoxPromi. I just kinda went off there, but that felt good to get off my chest! LOL (I don’t know what ‘spoonlessness’ means. Could you expound?)Thanks you guys! It feels great, being vulnerable- kind of cheating since I’m somewhat ‘hiding’ behind a computer screen- but it’s neat to see that other people are dealing with healing up similar wounds. I am amazed at my love for my husband & his love for me. I actually value our marriage more, since it isn’t a marriage of convenience, or even comfort, sometimes. We love each other, even when there is great pain in the rejection of the other. If he did everything perfectly, it would be easy to go through the motions, but because love hurts so much sometimes, choosing to be with that person is MORE important than any pain we feel. Choosing to love them with all their ugliness- all their warts and battle scars and licking their wounds… The more we have intimacy with someone, the more freedom they have to show us parts of their heart that even they aren’t proud of. Parts of themselves that they wish weren’t there. Broken, black spots in their heart that they barely want to admit to themselves. But we are in an intimate relationship and we are able to be exactly who we are and still be completely loved. Isn’t that what everyone wants? To be fully known and fully loved?
My hero (Danny Silk) says that God makes a safe place for us to fail.
That we know we are so completely accepted that we can crawl up in His lap, even when we have screwed up beyond what we think can be repaired.
To continue to choose someone and being able to forgive the horrible hurts is one of the most precious pictures of true love I can think of.Really cool to see people accomplishing art through writing!!! Go guys!!
Thank you!
I think if we are able to look for what helps people, instead of hurts them- in terms of spiritual conversation- like telling them something amazing you know to be true about them, even if it is a small thing. Some of the most amazing people can be encouraged to greatness because someone took the time to believe in them. I am obviously referring to a more personal level of talking about spirituality- I also love to chew on ideas about God with others and I think if people can ask “What if” together and have a mind opening conversation, without condescension- then every one can benefit from using our imaginations and sharing ideas with each other.
That being said- I did once write a blog about koalas, comparing the church to baby koalas who nurse out of their mother’s anus- breastfeeding from her butt- and in some circles, I see people ‘eating’ from an authority figure something that has no nourishment or value to real life and they have been doing it for so many generations that it is now considered normal. If all your friends nurse from their mother’s butt- and this has been going on for generations, then no one thinks to question it. I call it the 3rd generation mind f*ck. And the eucalyptus leaves offer almost no nutritional value, so they have no energy, so they sleep 20 hrs a day (if I remember correctly.) Which also reminds me of some churches. They aren’t ingesting anything valuable, so they are complacent to be selfish and self centered and delude themselves that they are living in love.
I called the blog- “Two koalas One cup.” It was funny to me- very offensive to most, though. I changed it to a metaphor of society-
http://vicesmindgames-freedom.blogspot.com/@jo-white @cowboyjunkey @old-pete @john @david
hope i didnt miss anyone..this is hard on mobile.
im sad that i didnt make it back to this thread until now. im still learning this site. you are all so supportive, thank you all for your encouragement!
i address my needs to my hubby- & sometimes he responds positively, some days not. In my 1st marriage there was consistancy, bit no passion. now it seems the opposite. the good times are so potent, they help me forget the bad. i have realized that my expectations are based on what I think he SHOULD be doing. I dont like to should on ppl. i try to see myself in his eyes & what he expects/needs & just focus on that. keeps me honest.
and when we got married- I was psychotic & he was a total asshole, so we’ve both gotten better together. lol
I’m sure that happens to many, many people. sigh.
I’m waiting for the church where they preach about how we have been restored from our fallen status- and now are free to go naked everywhere. If the ‘fall’ hadn’t happened, we’d be the biggest nudist colony EVER! Naked cuddling with your kids on the couch for movies- Naked volleyball with Grandpa.
Obviously, God’s idea of ‘modesty’ is a little different than some churches…
OOhhh, I just like to poke… tee hee
